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Elderly woman gives police nasty shock

Two Italian traffic policemen were quietly enjoying their sandwiches in a lay-by on the outskirts of the northern city of Cologno al Serio last week when a passing car caught their attention.

There was nothing odd about the car itself, it was just an ordinary saloon, not stolen and listed on the coppers' computer as being up to date with road tax and motor insurance. But it was driving most oddly, zig-zagging erratically from one side of the road to the other.

The two policeman decided to put aside their lunch and take a closer look. I bet they wish now that they hadn't bothered.

Because in the passenger seat, showing her wrinkles to the world, was a totally bare 70-year-old woman. Wearing not a stitch and as starkers as the day she was born, the grey-haired reprobate was attempting to mount the driver. Her victim, if that's the right word, was a bald-headed 59-year-old man clad in only, and I mean only, a vest.

Ordering the canoodling couple out of the car after allowing them to dress, the horror-struck officers breathalysed the man and, not surprisingly, found him to be over the drink drive limit. Well over, in fact, more than three times the legal allowance.

Charged with drink driving and numerous other offences, he was taken to the local police station to sober up, while the woman was given a lift home.

Cologne al Serio's police commander, Angelo D'Anardo, told reporters, "We assume they must have been drinking at lunch and then things got out of control.

Asked if the couple were married, the bobby admitted he doubted it, saying, "Married people wouldn't probably do anything like this."

A spokesperson for CoverGirl Car Insurance Services, specialist providers of women's car insurance, said, "I know people do some odd things in cars but I've never heard of anything quite like this.

"I'm just glad it wasn't me that had to pull them over."

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